


Three Moth Cat Ears

by Hiraethin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Office, Choking, Crack Treated Seriously, Cyborg Mark Lee, Everyone Is Gay, From himself, I'm Sorry, In the words of bang chan: what a mess, Johhny is the only celebrity, M/M, Multi, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Sicheng is superstitious, TW for twister, but not in the traditional sense, everyone is dumb, mentions of dead bodies, no cows were harmed in the making of this fic, please save Taeil, save Taeil, the character death tag is for the death of Taeil's dignity, there is a cult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 08:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18588004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiraethin/pseuds/Hiraethin
Summary: The (mis)adventures of spirit medium Nakamoto Yuta, superstitious Dong Sicheng, and firm non-believer Moon Taeil.





	1. Chapter 1

Taeil will probably look back on this situation years from now and still say the same thing:

It was All Ten's fault.

* * *

 

Moon Taeil is ordinary. He goes to work. He pays his taxes. He's a law-abiding citizen. He's sane. He's normal.

So why have the heavens given him Ten for a housemate?

It's not that he hates Ten. Ten's a great guy, really. He doesn't have anything against the thai man in particular; in fact, they work together in the same department and could comfortably consider themselves friends.

No, the problem isn't Ten as a person. It's the amount of _stress_ he causes him.

Taeil stares at the package on his coffee table. The package stares back. The black, sparkly package proudly showcases the image of a big, pink... Thing.

The shape alone is a dead giveaway, but the "daddy approved!" stamp solidifies his assumptions. Taeil shudders and leaves it where it is.

A knock sounds on the door, and Taeil gets up with a sigh. He prays it's not another "suggestive" package- he'll never be able to face the mailman again.

When he opens the door, however, he finds a stranger.

Lilac hair, foreign features, wearing a... Trench coat?

It's the middle of summer. He's wearing a trench coat. Taeil reaches the most likely conclusion.

"Listen, if you're some sort of stripper-" Taeil starts warily. Ten is so dead.

"What? I-I'm not! What the hell gave you that impression?!" The strange guy is turning bright red. It clashes horribly with his hair.

Before Taeil can interrupt, he continues, "Is this Jung Dongyu's house?"

Taeil blinks in confusion. "No."

The strange man frowns, looking at his hand. Taeil assumes he's reading the writing on his palm. It's smudged, so he doubts it's very accurate.

The guy appears to be comparing Taeil's address to the one on his hand. Taeil shuts the door and leaves him to it. What a weird guy.

~~

Two days later, the strange guy is at his door again. He's still wearing the trench coat. He asks Taeil the same question.

"No."

The guy looks equal parts confused and frustrated. He turns his head a little to the right, like he's listening to something. Then he turns back to Taeil, squinting.

"Say, what was your name again?"

Taeil raises an eyebrow. "I never told you my name."

Lilac guy gasps quietly. Taeil should really find out _his_ name.

"That's it! You're Jung Dongyu, aren't you?"

Taeil blinks. "No."

"You can't fool me," the guy hisses, "Minhyuk told me everything!"

Taeil doesn't even know a Minhyuk. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I don't have time for you," he mutters, "goodbye."

The guy sputters angrily as Taeil shuts the door in his face.

"I'M ONTO YOU, JUNG DONGYU!"

~~

Lilac guy is at their door again. Taeil is in the bath, so Ten is the one who answers the door.

"Can I help you?"

"Nakamoto Yuta, private detective. I'm investigating the death of Lee Minhyuk and you're the prime and only suspect," He says in one breath, very obviously reading from a scrap of paper hidden in his sleeve.

He looks up, realizes Ten is not Taeil, and corrects himself.

"Uh. Your housemate is the prime suspect," he pauses, "Um. Can I come in?"

Ten raises an eyebrow, then turns around to yell into the apartment, "HYUNG! THIS WEIRD DUDE IS ACCUSING YOU OF MURDER, SHOULD I LET HIM IN?"

"NO!"

Ten shrugs, "Come on in."

Yuta blinks, mumbles "pardon my intrusion" under his breath, and walks in.

~~

Taeil gets out of the shower and finds Lilac guy seated on his couch. He's gingerly holding a teacup and a reluctant conversation with an enthusiastic Ten.

Taeil is torn between feeling vindictive satisfaction and pity. Ten is a little overwhelming when you're not used to him.

He entertains the idea of sneaking out and leaving the other to Ten's tender mercies. He's had a long day at work and isn't in the mood to deflect questions about his moral compass. Not today.

Also, he's kind of half-naked and holding his shower supplies. It would be a little difficult to explain away the large rubber duck He has in his arms.

Taeil makes eye contact with Ten across the room. He shakes his head fervently. Ten smirks. He turns around and starts running. The duck falls. Taeil trips on the duck. The duck gives a loud, betrayed quack. Lilac guy turns around.

"Jung Dongyu! You're under arrest!" He exclaims as he jumps out of his seat. He- very delicately, he's still holding the porcelain cup- power walks towards Taeil.

"By jurisdiction of Nakamoto Yuta, you're being taken in on accounts of murder, hindering police procedures-"

"You're not a police officer." Ten pipes up, making Lilac guy-- Yuta? -- falter.

"Oh."

Taeil ignores him in favor of checking on his rubber duck. Poor Billy looks a little worse for wear- his head is deflated and he's still making little wheezing noises.

In that particular moment, someone knocks on the door.

Yuta is still holding his tea cup, Ten is upside down on the couch watching the drama unfold, and Taeil is on the floor in nothing but a towel around his hips. Peter's head re-inflates with a squeak.

They all exchange glances.

"Ten, you get it. You're the closest to the door," says Taeil.

"I opened it last time! It's your turn now," Ten whines.

"Yeah, well, now I'm kind of naked," Taeil retorts. They both turn to stare at Yuta.

"This is not even my house!" Yuta  complains weakly, but goes to open the door.

And promptly drops his cup. Taeil can't make out the person at the door from his position.

"That's a bad omen," says a deep voice. Yuta is still standing at the door, and there's porcelain shards in front of him. He dramatically falls to one knee, sharp fragments crunching under him. Ten winces and tumbles off the couch.

"Marry me!"

A beat.

"No."

Taeil assumes whoever it is walks away. He gets up and drags Yuta back by his collar.

"Don't bleed on my floor, that shit is hard to clean up." He grouses.

Yuta shoots him a withering glare. "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Yuta gets up and makes his way outside, mindful of the porcelain this time.

'I'm watching you' he mouths, narrowing his eyes, then promptly disappears to chase after that guy.

Taeil sighs.

"He's crazy. I like him." Ten proclaims, handing Taeil the duster.

Taeil sighs louder.


	2. 2

"Run that by me again, but really slowly."

 

"I'm moving out."

 

Taeil stares at Ten incredulously. Ten is nonchalantly applying black polish to his nails. 

 

"And you're going to live, where?"

 

"With Johnny. Duh."

 

Johnny Seo: CEO of a modeling company, resident tabloid cover-maker, and Ten's current paramour.

 

"I didn't know you guys were that serious." Taeil raises an eyebrow imploringly.

 

Ten blows gently on his nails and makes eye contact with him. A challenge.

 

"Tennie, you've only been on one date," he sighs.

 

Ten raises an eyebrow in silence.

 

"You've fucked once. On that same first date, need I remind you." He adds. Ten isn't listening.

 

"Is he that good?" He wonders quietly, then quickly backtracks when he sees the glint in Ten's eyes. "Nevermind."

 

Ten smiles victoriously.

 

"You have my blessings, or whatever," he says reluctantly. It dawns on him that he'll need to find someone else to split the rent with, but he decides to worry about that later. 

 

Ten gives him a quick hug then flounces off to finish packing. Taeil is contemplating the pros and cons of publishing an advertisement when someone knocks. 

 

He turns his face heavenwards and prays for patience. 

 

The knock comes again. And again. And again. The knocking starts to take on a pattern that suspiciously resembles the beat of SHINee's 'Ring Ding Dong'. 

 

He wrenches the door open and Yuta almost knocks on his face before registering who it is. 

 

"Jung Dongyu!" He says pleasantly, "I've come here to say hello. As your new neighbor. Next door." 

 

Taeil knew the apartment next door was empty, recently renovated. He hadn't heard anyone move in though. Taeil closes his eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. 

 

"Tell me you didn't rent the whole apartment next door just to stalk me," he pleads. 

 

"I would never!" Yuta smiles guilelessly. It's a big fat lie. 

 

"You're a big fat liar." He informs him solemnly. Yuta gives a faux-gasp, scandalized. 

 

"Funny, that's exactly what I think of you! Great minds," he intones cheerfully. 

 

Two minutes pass by with them locked in a staredown. 

 

' _You are inferior and a murderer. An inferior murderer. I will bring you to justice._ ' Yuta's glare conveys. 

 

' _You are delusional and have flies in your eyes._ ' Taeil's narrowed eyes say. 

 

Yuta's eye twitches. ' _If I have flies in my eyes, how can I see through your lies?_ ' 

 

' _You wear a trench coat when it's 30 degrees outside. You look like a grape. I don't fear you._ ' Taeil closes one eye, then the other. 

 

Yuta's eyes widen. The message has been received. 

 

Someone clears their throat next to them, breaking them from their prolonged eye contact. 

 

There's a handsome, foreign looking man standing behind Yuta. Yuta turns around and gasps, looking ready to kneel before the stranger. 

 

"Eye twitching is a bad omen in many Asian cultures." He tells Taeil gravely. His voice sounds oddly familiar. 

 

"Are you...superstitious?" Taeil asks. 

 

The stranger blinks slowly. "No, I'm Dong Sicheng. It sounds quite similar, though."

 

Yuta stumbles back into Taeil's chest with a wail. Taeil pats him on the shoulder awkwardly. 

 

"Um," he says intelligently, "I'm Taeil." 

 

The guy nods. He turns around and walks away. 

 

"He didn't even ask for my name, God." Yuta groans in dismay. Taeil pats his shoulder again.

 

"Not God," he corrects blandly, "Dong Sicheng." 

 


	3. 3

Taeil is woken by a knock at his door.

 

For a few seconds, his sleep-addled mind convinces him that Ten will open the door. Then he realizes Ten moved out yesterday, and he has his keys so he wouldn't be knocking.

 

He grumbles, getting out of bed and padding to the door. He pauses for a second, considers his Pororo pajamas, then decides it's too early in the morning to give a damn. He opens the door and Yuta beams at him from the other side. 

 

"Good morning! I made breakfast." He says, pushing out the tray he's holding, and looks at him expectantly. Taeil is too tired to fight it. He yawns and moves away from the door, letting Yuta take it as an invitation. 

 

"Pardon my intrusion," he says, politely removing his slippers and shutting the door. 

 

Taeil directs him to the kitchen, showing him where to find the plates and utensils. He sits at the small dining table and catches the time on the wall clock. 

 

"Why," he yawns, "are you here so early?" 

 

"To catch you unaware, of course!" Yuta chirps brightly, "People lose their inhibitions when they're sleepy, so it'll be easier to get you to confess." 

 

 _He shouldn't be telling me this,_ Taeil thinks in amusement. 

 

Yuta curses a second later, "I shouldn't be telling you this. Damnit."

 

He hands the plates and utensils to Taeil who arranges them. Yuta brings the food he made. It feels oddly domestic. 

 

Yuta pauses, realizing there's only two plates. "Where's Ten?" 

 

Taeil thinks of the extravagant photos Ten sent him last night and snorts. "In a much better place now." 

 

Yuta drops his fork with a gasp, covering his mouth delicately. 

 

"He's..he's dead? I'm so sorry, Dongyu."

 

Taeil takes a moment to realize what he means, thrown off at first by the name, then by the apology. 

 

"My name isn't-- What? No, he's not dead." He looks at Yuta strangely. 

 

"Oh, this is the first stage of grief. Denial," Yuta says softly. He looks at him in pity. 

 

"I'm not-- I'm not in denial! He's alive. He just moved-" 

 

"-onto the next life? Oh, Dongyu." Yuta shakes his head sadly, "it's okay to admit that he's dead." 

 

"Ten isn't dead." Taeil deadpans. "Just because he's not here doesn't mean that he's gone." 

 

Yuta pats his back comfortingly. "I know, I know. He'll always be here with us, in our hearts."

 

Taeil looks at Yuta in disbelief. 

 

"It's kind of strange that I can't see him, though," Yuta mumbles to himself. 

 

"Huh?" 

 

"Oh, it's nothing. I can see ghosts, you see, I should be able to see him." 

 

"I.. see." Taeil says slowly. He doesn't see at all. 

 

"I'm asking this completely out of concern for your health, Nakamoto," he begins seriously, "Do you smoke weed? Marijuana? Sniff cocaine?" 

 

"What? Why would I-- Oh." Yuta pauses, eyeing him uncertainly. Realization dawns in his eyes. 

 

"Dongyu, I know you're going through a hard time, but drugs aren't the answer," he says slowly, like he's talking to a small child. 

 

"I'm not asking you for drugs!" Taeil exclaims indignantly. He's considering stabbing Yuta with the butter knife. 

 

"Oh, please. I'm not an idiot. It's like saying 'my friend has a problem' when you're really talking about yourself." Yuta rolls his eyes. 

 

He looks him in the eyes and firmly grasps his shoulder, "You don't need drugs. I'll help you through your grief, don't worry!" 

 

That's it, there's no defeating the guy with logic. Taeil feels his patience snap. 

 

"W-wait, Dongyu, put down the knife-" 

 

Taeil jumps out of his chair, holding the butter knife in hand. Just a little stab, it won't hurt-

 

"My name isn't Dongyu!" 

 

Yuta screams, attempting to  jump over the couch. He's clearly overestimating how athletic he is, because he only manages to slam bodily into it and knock it over. He's backed into a corner as Taeil closes in. 

 

"You're in denial! Violence is not the answer!" He yelps. 

 

"Today it is!" Taeil tackles him, holding him down with his arm poised to strike. 

 

The door bangs open. 

 

"Hello, bitches!" Ten cackles as he saunters in. He  looks around in confusion. He takes in the overturned furniture, the plates in the kitchen, then his eyes land on them. 

 

He blinks once, twice. 

 

Yuta, breathing heavily, points at him. 

 

"Oh my God. It's true, I can actually see you!" He whispers, starting to tear up. 

 

Taeil gets off him, clearing his throat. "Uh, hey Ten." 

 

Yuta gasps, turning to him with wide eyes. "You can see him too?" 

 

"Uh. Yeah?" 

 

Johnny walks in through the door, standing behind Ten. He waves at them all, then wraps his arms around Ten's waist. 

 

Taeil acknowledges him with a nod. 

 

"Johnny Seo is dead too? Oh my God." Yuta slumps back on the sofa, head in his hands. 

 

Taeil slowly, slowly backs away. 

 

He walks over to the couple. "Hey, I'm Taeil." He introduces himself, firmly shaking Johnny's hand. The three of them engage in small talk as they walk into the kitchen, leaving Yuta to...do whatever it is he's doing. 

 

They settle down for breakfast. Taeil is about to start eating when he hears a knock at the door. He excuses himself to open it. It's Sicheng. 

 

"I thought I saw Johnny Seo. Is he in here?" He questions immediately. 

 

"Hello to you, too." Taeil raises an eyebrow. 

 

Sicheng ducks his head, mumbling an apology. It's oddly endearing. 

 

"He's here, yeah." He says. And then--because Taeil has zero impulse control--he adds, "Wanna...join us for breakfast?" 

 

Sicheng nods with a smile, bending down to remove his shoes.

 

Taeil leaves the door open and goes back to the kitchen. He prepares an extra plate for Sicheng and sits down to eat. 

 

"Who was at the door?" Ten asks. 

 

Taeil, mouth full of food, just shrugs. Damn but Yuta makes great pancakes. 

 

Sicheng walks in, pausing at the doorway. 

 

"Um," he trails off, hooking a thumb over his shoulder, "that weird guy with the lilac hair is holding some seance in your living room. Shouldn't you... do something?" 

 

The three of them pause, then shake their heads in unison. "Nah." 

 

Sicheng shrugs and sits down next to Taeil. "Thank you for the food." 

 

Breakfast is a surprisingly pleasant affair. 


	4. 4

"Where should I put these?"

Taeil looks up from his laptop. "Oh, you can leave those here. Ten says he'll come get them tomorrow."

Sicheng nods, placing down the box he was carrying. "It's pretty heavy. What's in it?"

"His manga collection, I think." Taeil leans over to open the flaps of the box. He sees one of the covers. It's a book, alright. Definitely not manga though. He tells Sicheng to tape it shut.

Watching the other scurry away, Taeil recounts the night before. Ten had quickly fallen for Sicheng's charms and all but adopted him.

"Oh, Johnny, he's so cute! Can we keep him?" Ten had asked, fluttering his eyelashes at his boyfriend. Johnny gently reminded him that Sicheng was a person. He turned to look at the person in question.

"It's fine, Ten. You can visit him every once in a while. He lives here, right?"

Not knowing who the question was directed to, Taeil nodded. Sicheng shook his head next to him. They looked at each other. Taeil shook his head and Sicheng nodded. Johnny looked at them both weirdly.

"I thought you lived in this building," Taeil said accusingly.

"I never said I lived here."

"Wait, if you don't live here, how come you're always at my door?" He asked.

Sicheng shrugged.

"Actually," Ten said thoughtfully, "Taeil does need a housemate. Since I moved out, and stuff."

He turned to look at Sicheng with wide, beseeching eyes. "Stay?"

Sicheng couldn't say no to Ten. No one could say no to Ten. He nodded dumbly and Johnny laughed.

Which is how they're here now, Sicheng moving his things into Ten's old room.

Taeil doesn't mind him much. He's quiet and easy to get along with, if a little bit strange.

Speaking of strange-

"You lied to me!" Yuta storms in, not knocking for once.

Taeil watches the door bang on the wall, the doorknob leaving a dent. "Rude," he mumbles.

"You're the rude one! You told me your friend was dead and he wasn't!" Yuta stomps over angrily. He's holding a magazine in his clenched fists that he throws at Taeil.

Johnny is on the cover (again), accompanied by Ten. They're seated in some fancy restaurant, holding hands.

"Scandalous," Taeil comments blankly.

"Ugh, I know right? Wait-- stop distracting me!"

"Technically, I didn't lie. You're the one who was jumping to conclusions," he points out.

Sicheng pokes his head out from his room. "Taeil, where should I put the empty boxes?"

"Sicheng!" Yuta squeaks, flustered. "I didn't know you'd be here!"

Sicheng just looks at him blankly, before turning back to Taeil. Yuta deflates, mumbling "Senpai wouldn't notice me." under his breath.

"Uh, you can leave them by the waste bin. I'll take care of them." Taeil coughs into his fist, stifling a laugh.

"Sicheng, don't listen to Dongyu! He seems nice but he's actually an evil mastermind. He's going to kill you, too!" Yuta suddenly exclaims, pointing at Taeil accusingly.

Sicheng tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed. "Who is Dongyu?"

Yuta points at Taeil more aggressively.

"That's just Taeil, though?" He looks confused. Then he snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up.

"Unless... Dongyu is invisible! You can see ghosts?"

Yuta drops down to one knee and proposes to him again.

Taeil face palms.   
  
  



	5. 5

Taeil wakes up one morning to find Sicheng perched on the end of his bed.

"Holy shit, Sicheng! You scared me half to death!" He sits up, clutching his shirt over his heart.

He hears something that sounds like a voice saying, "only half?" and whips his head around in confusion.

"Sorry, but I couldn't stay in my room. There's a hole," Sicheng says apologetically.

Taeil blinks at him. "A hole."

"Yeah. There's. Uh. There's a hole in the roof."

Taeil follows Sicheng to his room. There is, indeed, a hole. A tile in the ceiling has been knocked loose, it seems.

"Just a construction error," he assures Sicheng. "I'll call the landlord to get it fixed."

Strange, he thinks. Ten didn't tell him about any fallen tiles before he moved. Perhaps he hadn't noticed it?

The issue slips his mind, however. Night dawns and Sicheng refuses to sleep in his room.

"I feel a bad omen," Sicheng insists from his spot on the couch, firmly refusing to move.

"Oh my God, fine!" Taeil yells in exasperation, storming to his room.

A full minute passes before he breaks and pokes his head back out, "Extra blankets and pillows are in the hallway cupboard. Sleep well."

Sicheng chuckles and wishes him goodnight.

A few hours later, Taeil is startled awake by a noise. He lays in bed, frozen, until he hears it again. Thump.

He slowly crawls out of bed. From the hallway, he can make out Sicheng's sleeping form on the sofa. Taeil scratches his head and chalks it up to sleep paralysis or something, going back to sleep.

He tries to bring up the issue with Sicheng the next morning.

"Huh? No, I didn't move during the night. I was asleep the whole time. Why?"

Taeil chuckles awkwardly and waves him off. "Nothing, nothing."

Taeil himself forgets about it, until it happens again. In the wee hours of the morning he's woken by a noise. Thump.

Sicheng is still asleep when he checks. Taeil breaks out in cold sweat. He's not someone who scares easy, but even he has his moments. Like now. He feels it's perfectly justified to be scared when someone is breaking into your house.

He debates waking Sicheng for a moment before deciding not to. He doesn't want to scare him away before he's fully settled in.

Taeil steels his nerves and grabs the nearest weapon-- shoe lifts-- before following the noises.   
They lead to Sicheng's room. Taeil opens the door with a bang, quickly turning on the lights to find--

Absolutely nothing. He laughs a little in relief. What was he thinking anyway?

He turns off the lights and closes the door. He hears a thump. Opens the door. Nothing. Closes the door. Thump. He flees.

Morning comes and he hasn't slept a wink. He's been up all night, plotting.

Sicheng eyes him warily when he walks into the kitchen, dazed. "You alright?"

"Huh?" He snaps out of his reverie. "Oh, I'm fine. Just didn't sleep well," he mumbles.

Sicheng hands a mug full of coffee silently, patting his shoulder on his way out of the kitchen. It strengthens his resolve.

His master plan is to lie down in Sicheng's bed at night. When the person decides to attack again-- the killer always comes back to the crime scene-- he'll jump out of bed and scare them. Or something. He packs a good punch.

When Taeil and Sicheng part ways that evening, Taeil hugs the other suddenly, to Sicheng's confusion.

"Goodbye," he says seriously.

"Uh.. Don't you mean goodnight?"

Taeil just nods and walks into his room. At precisely midnight, he sneaks out slowly. Making sure Sicheng is fully asleep, he walks to the other room and closes the door.

He lays in the bed, almost screaming when he feels something under him. He reaches behind him and pulls out Ten's snake plush.

Not completely trusting it wasn't used in some nefarious scheme, he casts a cleansing spell on it that he learned from Harry Potter. Strangely, it calms his nerves a little. He turns on the small Tinkerbell nightlight he bought and waits.

At precisely 3 AM, the noises start. Taeil holds his breath, looking up at the ceiling. The noises begin from the wall next to him and Taeil is hit by the sudden realization that he hasn't seen Yuta in days.

_'Oh my God he's dead. It got him,'_ he thinks in a panic.

If he wasn't scared out of his mind he'd shed a tear for his eccentric neighbor. He mentally presses 'F' for respect.

The noises continue, moving towards the ceiling.

_'Oh my God it's a demon centipede.'_ His mind supplies grotesque images. Taeil starts shaking.

The noises reach the ceiling. Taeil vaguely recalls there being an empty space between the tiles and the roof.

Something dangles from the ceiling.

_'Oh My God. Oh my God.'_

Taeil realizes with a spike of fear that it's a human leg.

He's hit by a sudden epiphany that has him muffling a gasp with the pillow.

He blames the next train of wild thoughts completely on Yuta's inane ramblings. He's going to take it to the grave.

_'Oh my God, it's the body. Lee Minhyuk's body.'_

Except, it can't be. Ten would have noticed a dead body. Plus he's never even met Lee Minhyuk, hasn't killed him despite what Yuta thinks. Why would his body be here?

The leg moves, and he gasps softly.

_'Oh my God it's Jung Dongyu. He's here to finish the job. Oh my God I'm getting killed.'_

The leg continues wriggling in the air.

_'Oh my God it's just his leg. He's probably dead and this is the last thing of him that remains.'_

Taeil almost whimpers out loud.

Another leg comes down to dangle from the ceiling.

_'His lower body is out for revenge. It's possessed by the ghost of Lee Minhyuk.'_ He thinks, "Oh my God!"

Except he must have said it out loud, because the movement ceases.

"Hello?" A voice says from above.

"God?" Taeil whimpers.

"The hell? No."

A beat. One leg jingles.

"I'm... I'm kinda stuck. Help?"

Taeil sits there for a few minutes, reeling. He recognizes that voice.

"Nakamoto?!"

"Dongyu?!"

The ceiling legs kick frantically.

"Why the hell are you in Sicheng's room?!"

"Why the hell are you in my ceiling?!"

Silence.

"How'd you even-- you know what. Forget it," Taeil sighs. "Get down." So I can strangle you to the death with this snake, he doesn't say.

Yuta laughs nervously, "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I told you, I'm stuck!" Taeil can hear hints of panic in Yuta's voice now.

"Don't tell me you're like, claustrophobic or some shit?" Taeil asks, annoyed.

Silence.

"Oh my God, you totally are. Why."

"Just get me down, Dongyu," he whines, "please."

Taeil strokes his chin, then, "Promise you'll stop calling me Dongyu, first. My name is Moon Taeil."

"What?"

"Just promise!" Taeil insists. Yuta's sigh echoes strangely in the hollow roof, but he acquisces.

"Fine, Moon Taeil, whatever. Get me down!"

Taeil is in the middle of brainstorming ideas when he hears an ominous creak.

"Nakamoto?"

Yuta's yelp of suprise is his only warning he gets before the ceiling falls down. 

* * *

  
"So you're telling me," Sicheng inhales deeply, "that You," he points at Yuta, who has his leg propped up on the arm of the sofa, wrapped in a cast, "were crawling around in our ceiling like some kind of rat."

"And you," he points at Taeil, who has his arm bandaged, "thought he was a robber or something and decided to bravely intercept him by offering yourself up like a _virgin sacrifice_."

They both nod, shame-faced. Sicheng sighs, whapping them both on the back of their heads.   
"Bloody idiots."

He stands up, muttering something about needing a drink.

"This is all your fault," Taeil hisses at Yuta, "what were you even trying to do?"

"Evidence," Yuta wheezes softly, ribs sore from taking that fall.

"In Sicheng's room?"

Silence.

"I'm glad you didn't die, but also-" Taeil says pleassntly, then leans over and pushes Yuta's leg off the sofa. Yuta yelps in pain.

"Serves you fucking right."   
  
  



	6. 6

Taeil is a very patient man. Usually.

He's put up with Ten when he was hungover and whiny. He's put up with his boss calling him for meetings at the crack ass of dawn. He's put up with so much shit that _put up_ stopped sounding like a real word.

The point is, Taeil has a well of patience.

And yet it always seems to run dry when Nakamoto Yuta is involved.

He's sitting at the kitchen, sipping coffee, and listening to his neighbour's rendition of TWICE's 'Cheer Up' on his door. It's been seven minutes already.

Taeil sighs. Try as he might to ignore it-- and boy does he try-- he eventually has enough. He finishes off his coffee and gets up.

He walks to the door with all the airs of a prisoner walking to the gallows. He opens it before Yuta decides to continue their whole discography.

"Oh, boo. I was going to do 'Knock Knock' next." Yuta pouts as he lowers his fist.

"Do your knuckles not hurt?" Taeil asks in detached wonder.

"Bold of you to assume I have knuckles."

"What?" the fuck?

"I said, I need to borrow some sugar," Yuta smiles sweetly. He's rocking back an forth on his feet.

"Riiight," Taeil drawls, pointedly looking at Yuta's empty hands. "I assume you're going to carry it in your pocket then?"

Yuta doesn't even look chastised. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a single tablespoon. "I just need a spoonful."

Taeil stares at him blankly.

"It's for a recipe I'm making," he elaborates.

"What recipe needs a single spoonful of sugar?" Taeil asks suspiciously.

"The one I'm making."

Taeil pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "Whatever. Wait here."

Before Yuta can step a single foot into the apartment, Taeil is back with the sugar.

"Here you go. Have a good day." He shoves the spoon at Yuta, barely letting him grab it before closing the door.

He hasn't even moved from the doorway before he hears another knock. He whirls around and opens the door.

"What."

Yuta smiles sheepishly, thrusting the spoon at him. "I need sugar."

"Again? I just gave you sugar."

Yuta shrugs, nonplussed. "It spilled."

Taeil breathes in, out. He doesn't say anything, just takes the spoon to refill it. The sooner this is over with the sooner Yuta will leave.

He goes to the kitchen and comes back to find Yuta inside the house. A little further from where he first left him.

"Here." He hands him the spoon, shoving him outside forcefully and shutting the door.

He's about to breathe a sigh of relief when Yuta knocks again. Taeil growls, wrenching the door open.

"What?!"

Yuta recoils, meekly offering the spoon back. "It spilled again."

Taeil inhales deeply. In, out, in, out. His neighbour is a clumsy buffoon, but he's not going to lose his shit.

"This is the last time." He grits out. Yuta nods quickly.

He stomps back into the house, getting a bigger spoon and filling it with sugar. Sicheng pokes his head into the kitchen to see what the ruckus is about. Taeil doesn't offer any explanation, just carefully carries the spoon to the door.

Yuta has somehow teleported into their living room. He gives a shaky laugh, waving at Sicheng.

"Lovely decor," he offers weakly as Taeil drags him to the door.

"Here. You. Go." Taeil spits out, almost stabbing Yuta in the eye with the spoon.

Yuta smiles and quickly takes the spoon. He doesn't move.

They stand at the doorway in awkward silence. Yuta waits for Taeil to shut the door; Taeil waits for Yuta to leave.

"I'll. Uh. I'll just, go now," Yuta says eventually, stepping away. Taeil shuts the door firmly. He waits a second, then peeks through the eye hole to make sure he's gone.

Yuta is still standing in front of the door. He looks around nervously, then grimaces and tips the entire spoonful into his mouth. Taeil gapes.

Yuta takes a moment to collect himself, shivering and making a weird face, before stepping forward to knock again.

Taeil opens the door before he does.

"It seems the recipe requires a cup of sugar. My bad." He smiles at Taeil apologetically. There's sugar particles on the corner of his lips.

Is this his idea of infiltration? Taeil, bizarrely, wants to laugh.

"Oh, a cup you say?" Taeil grins, a sadistic idea forming in his head. Yuta nods hesitantly.

"You know what, since it keeps getting spilled," Taeil turns around to hide his evil smile, "I think I'll get you an entire bucket."

He hears Yuta whimper softly behind him. Revenge is a dish best served sweet.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. 7

"So, statistically, this would increase the number of profits," Jungwoo says as he points his laser beam at the projected chart.

 

Taeil looks around the table. Ten is seated on his right, very obviously on his phone, despite Doyoung's warning looks. Jaehyun seems to be contemplating death by stapler,and Kun looks lost in thought. Lucas is the only one who seems to be paying attention.

 

"- so, to conclude, I think it would benefit us greatly if we had the choice between crunchy and smooth peanut butter in the cafeteria. Thank you. " Jungwoo ends his presentation with a small bow.

 

Everyone claps half-heartedly with the exception of Lucas, who whoops and yells encouragements. Jungwoo blushes and scurries back to his seat.

 

"Thank you for your...enlightening report, Jungwoo," Jaehyun sighs, closing his eyes and massaging his temples. Jungwoo nods his head. 

 

Not knowing whether or not the meeting is adjourned, the rest of them sit and stare at each other in silence. Ten suddenly laughs, loudly, and everyone whips their heads to stare at him. He lifts his head and smiles sheepishly, putting his phone away. 

 

Jaehyun grabs the stapler, and opens his eyes to glare at them all. "That's a wrap, people. Get out of my office." 

 

Jaehyun is starting to look a little maniac, so they all scramble to leave. Lucas links arms with a still- blushing Jungwoo, Ten almost trips over in his haste to get away from Doyoung, and Kun attempts to pry the stapler out of Jaehyun's strong grip. 

 

Taeil checks his phone as he waits for the elevator. There's the customary message from his mother, a reminder to get milk from Sicheng, and a couple texts from Ten. 

 

**Tennie the pooh🍯**

**(10:10am)**

**U won't believe this**

**I found the funniest fanfic about Johnny and I sjsjs**

**U NEED to read it**

**The author has the weirdest name lmao**

**(link)**

 

Taeil snorts. That was what he'd been doing?

The elevator dings, and Taeil steps in as the doors open. He doesn't look up, replying to the text from his mother. He barely registers someone else being in there. 

"What floor?" The person asks. 

"Ground floor, please," he replies absently. 

"Sure." The other clicks on the button and the elevator starts its decent. 

Taeil freezes suddenly. He knows that voice. No way. No fucking way. He slowly lifts his head up. 

Yuta smiles at him and waves. Taeil hangs his head with a groan. 

"Why." 

"Workplace investigation." 

Taeil glares at him. Yuta continues to smile. Fancy elevator music plays in the background. 

"How'd you even get in? This elevator is for employees only." Taeil pinches the bridge of his nose. 

Yuta just smiles wider. The elevator music continues playing. Taeil feels the beginnings of a migraine. 

"I thought we agreed that my name isn't Jung Dongyu," Taeil spits out at last, teeth clenched. 

"It could've been a fake identity. Wouldn't be the first time." Yuta shrugs. 

"You literally don't have any evidence." He sighs. 

"That's why I'm here. I'm sure I'll find something incriminating." 

Taeil tries to set Yuta on fire with his glare. It doesn't seem to be working. The elevator music is starting to get a little annoying - 

"Wait," he turns to Yuta suddenly, "how long have we been in here?" 

Yuta tilts his head, bringing a pocket watch out of his trench coat. "About..seven minutes now." 

He looks up to find Taeil staring at him weirdly. "What?" 

"Are you a time traveler on top of being a ghost whisperer?" Taeil asks sarcastically. Yuta just makes a confused face, so he shakes his head. 

"Nevermind that. I think we're stuck," He informs him, walking around the elevator. Now that he's said it, he realizes it has stopped moving. 

"We're what." Yuta's voice shifts an octave at the end. Taeil turns around to find him clutching the rail behind him in a tight grip. Oh fuck, he forgot Yuta was claustrophobic. 

"Don't panic-" 

"Oh God. Oh God. I'm going to die in this metal contraption-" 

"Nakamoto-" 

"-and no one will find my body and no one will carry out poor Minhyuk's investigation-" 

"Nakamoto-" 

"-and of course I get stuck here with you, a murderer-" 

"Naka- Hey!" 

"Oh God. This is the end." Yuta whimpers, curling up into a ball. Taeil feels a little sympathy, but he needs to focus on finding a way out. 

 

His thoughts are interrupted with the sound of a ringtone. He takes his phone out and answers it, "Hello?" 

"Taeil, where are you? Johnny came to pick us up for lunch." 

"Oh, shit. Sorry Ten, I'm kind of trapped in the elevator. I don't think I'll be able to make it," he says apologetically. 

"That's..fine. Do you, uh, need any help?" Ten asks. Taeil heads to the keypad. 

"Nah. We're good. I'll call you when I get out," he says as he presses all the buttons. 

"Wait, Tae-" 

"Have fun, Tennie. Bye for now!" Taeil hangs up. He pockets his phone again and slides down onto the elevator floor. Yuta gapes at him from the other side. 

"I tried my best," he shrugs in defeat. Yuta shuts his mouth and bangs his head against the wall. 

"What kind of murderer are you? How are you so dumb?" He whines.

Taeil glares at him, "What?!" 

"The phone, you idiot! You could've called someone!" He snaps. 

"Oh," Taeil says intelligently. He takes out his phone and dials a number, waiting for the person on the other side to pick up. 

The elevator music continues to play in a loop. Yuta takes deep, calming breaths. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi, Sicheng. We're trapped in an elevator." 

"That's...nice? Shouldn't you call for help?" 

"I would, but I think I used all my remaining credit calling you." 

"What, why?" Sicheng groans on the other side. 

"Yuta told me to." 

Before Sicheng can reply to that, the line cuts. Taeil looks at his phone, forlorn. "Sicheng hung up on me." 

Yuta takes off his shoe and throws it at him. 

* * *

 

Thankfully, Sicheng has enough common sense to call Ten, who brings help. 

The doors open after two long hours. Yuta launches himself at the nearest person, who happens to be Sicheng. 

 

"Air!" He gasps, almost suffocating the other with his hug. Sicheng doesn't have the heart to push him away, so he just pats his back awkwardly. 

Taeil crawls out and flops on the ground. "Yuta-free, finally," he groans. 

 

Ten and Johnny are also there. Ten laughs and helps Taeil stand up. Sicheng removes himself from Yuta's clutch, holding onto his arm instead. He takes Taeil's arm and nods at Ten in thanks. 

 

He looks at Johnny, who smiles. He flushes, smiles back meekly, then drags his charges away. 

Johnny chuckles and loops an arm around Ten's waist. They watch the three walk away. 

"Never a boring day with that bunch, huh?" He asks and Ten laughs. 

"Nope. Anyway, did I tell you about that fanfiction I found? It was really good-" 

They walk away. The elevator music keeps playing. 

 


	8. 8

"So, let me get this straight-"

"I'm not."

Yuta blushes when both Taeil and Sicheng turn to  stare at him. He clears his throat but does not elaborate.

"Right." Sicheng shoots Yuta an indecipherable look. "As I was saying... You brought a ouija board. To our apartment. To do, what?"

"Contact the spirit residing here."

Yuta looks completely serious as he says it that Taeil finds himself stifling a laugh. Sicheng looks a little unnerved.

"And why do you need to contact him?"

"To prove to this guy," Yuta points at Taeil, "that Lee Minhyuk is a real life person."

Taeil raises his hands with a snort. "I thought he was dead?"

"He is dead because you killed him!" Yuta hisses venomously. The older man rolls his eyes in response.

"I say we let him do it," he tells Sicheng with a shrug. Sicheng crosses his arms a little nervously.

"Guys.. I don't think this is a good idea. Opening a portal to the other side is unpredictable and brings negative energy into the house." He bites his lip.

"Relax, it'll be fine. It's not like this is really gonna work, anyway." Taeil says reassuringly, patting his back.

Yuta mutters something under his breath, too low for them to hear. Probably something about Taeil being a skeptic.

"What was that?" Taeil asks, challenging.  Yuta huffs but backs down, instead saying that he's hungry. Sicheng nods slightly next to him.

Taeil decides to order takeout. He eyes the dark clouds outside a little warily but decides it wouldn't hurt to ask. He contemplates what to get, then turns back towards the other two.

"You guys good with Chinese?"

"I am good with Chinese. I am Chinese." Sicheng eyes him balefully. Yuta cheerfully pipes up, "I'm Japanese, but my Chinese isn't bad either."

Taeil debates explaining himself, before ultimately just deciding to order pizza.

"Hello? Yeah, I'd like to place an order-" He steps out of the living room to talk on his phone.

Sicheng, still a little uneasy about demon summoning, decides to distract himself by turning on his laptop. Yuta watches him type, a little dazed smile on his face. _Sicheng looks so cute with his nose scrunched like that~_

Sicheng clears his throat, feeling eyes on him. "Do you mind?"

"Oh, I don't mind at all! You can continue with your--uh," he squints at the screen, "Chinese to Korean translation." He smiles cheerfully.

Sicheng, not knowing how to correct him, just sighs in defeat. He continues typing in silence.

Yuta tries to keep quiet. He really does. He lasts all of thirty seconds before he breaks.

"Are you..studying Korean?" He hedges, watching his crush carefully.

Sicheng falters a little, but continues typing without looking up. "Studying. Yes."

The tips of his ears are red. Yuta stares at him even more intensely. Sicheng starts to type more frantically.

Unbeknownst to Yuta, Sicheng actually finds him intimidating. Especially when he keeps glaring at him like that.

Is there something on his face? Could he..possibly know Sicheng's secret? Sicheng decides to switch the topic before he gets busted.

"So. Um. You can see ghosts, right?" He asks a little desperately. Thankfully, that seems to do the trick. He breathes a sigh of relief as Yuta launches into stories about his various ghastly encounters.

Back in Yuta's head, theres's screaming. He promised the ghosts he'd keep the proposing to a minimum. As if hearing his thoughts, Taeil re-appears from the hallway.

"Ghosts aren't real," he says with a snort. Yuta, interrupted, gasps indignantly. Before he can retaliate, there's a sudden clap of thunder.

Then the power goes out and they're plunged into darkness. The only light is the glow of Sicheng's laptop screen. It's quiet, save for the sound of the storm outside.

Until Yuta breaks the silence, "See? The heavens disagree with your outrageous beliefs."

Sicheng has to set aside his laptop to stop them from strangling each other.

* * *

 

"So," Taeil sniffs, "I was going to say the pizza place refused to do any deliveries because of the approaching storm."

Yuta, from his place on the floor, only sneezes in response. Sicheng is sitting on the couch behind him, roughly drying his hair with a towel.

The only way to get the two to behave was to lock them outside in the balcony. Sicheng feels a little bit guilty, but his laptop was at stake.

Taeil comes back from the kitchen with three mugs on a tray. He hands Yuta his, and Yuta accepts it with a quiet thanks. It's as much of a reconciliation as their prides would allow.

"So.." Sicheng takes a sip from his tea, "are we doing this or not?"

He nudges the forgotten ouija board with his toe. Two heads whip around to stare at him in disbelief, and he just shrugs.

"Um, right." Yuta scrambles to set it up on the coffee table. Taeil sinks down on the couch on Sicheng's right, and Yuta settles down on his left.

Yuta puts two fingers on the plaque and glares at them when they sit still. "Well? Someone needs to do this with me."

Taeil sighs and quietly asks Sicheng to switch places. Yuta looks at him in suprise, but Taeil just grins with a challenge in his eyes.

"Prove me wrong, ghost-boy."

Yuta beams, and places his mug aside. He tells Sicheng to angle the laptop screen so they can all see the board.

Yuta directs Taeil as he moves the plaque around the board, saying some phrases in a low voice. Sicheng watches on, equal parts terrified and fascinated.

"Alright. We have to spell out Hello." Yuta and Taeil move the plaque. Taeil keeps glancing at Yuta, probably to make sure the other isn't tricking him.

"Is anyone here?" Yuta asks. All three of them hold their breath, watching the plaque move to 'yes'.

"You're doing this, aren't you?" Taeil says accusingly. Yuta turns his head to snap something back, but Sicheng interrupts.

"U-Uh.. Guys? It's m-moving." He whispers fearfully. The other two look back to the plaque, which is indeed moving to a number. They all watch silently as it moves along the numbers on the board, occasionally stopping at one.

"It's...showing us a sequence?" Yuta furrows his eyebrows. The number chain is repeated again, which gives him an idea. "Cheng, write this down."

Sicheng blushes a little at the nickname (the heck?) before writing down the numbers on a piece of paper he finds lying around.

"One, zero, four, one," Yuta dictates and Sicheng writes, "two, four, zero, six. Two, nine."

The ghost (?) refuses to answer any of their questions after that, so they decide to end the session.

"Goodbye." Yuta says, removing his fingers from the plaque. Taeil does the same, clenching his hand in a fist. He reaches out for his mug and takes a drink.

"So? What does it say?"

Yuta and Sicheng are staring at the paper in confusion, trying to puzzle out what it could mean. They flip it this way and that, before Yuta lets out a triumphant 'ah-hah!'

"When you look at it upside down, it looks like letters. It says..."

 

 

"It says?" Sicheng repeats, on the edge of his seat. Taeil drinks the rest of his cold drink. 

"'Be gone..thot'?" 

Taeil chokes on his tea and his disbelief. 


	9. 9

For the first time in a long time, Taeil doesn't spend the weekend catching up on work. Ten always tried to drag him out to some club or the other, but he always refused. He doesn't have very many friends outside of those in the office, so he usually takes advantage of the quiet to stay on top of his reports.

 

This time it's different.

 

It's mid-afternoon on a Saturday and he's at home, watching a movie. More specifically, a horror movie. Even more specifically, a horror movie with Sicheng and Yuta.

 

Even though Yuta spends most of time criticizing the "terribly cliche storyline and awful CGI" and Sicheng types away on his laptop, it's... Nice. He feels a little more his age.

 

Currently, he's having a debate with Yuta about a particular scene.

"Ghosts don't even talk like that, what the hell-"

"How would you know that? Have you ever talked to a ghost?"

"Um, excuse you, I'm a spirit detective, I always talk to them-"

"That's not even a real job and you still suck at it-"

They're interrupted by a bang on the door. Even Sicheng looks up from his laptop at the noise.

"Taeil, are we expecting guests?"

 

"The only person I know who makes this much ruckus is this dumbass right here-" Taeil smirks at Yuta's indignant "Hey!" He yelps when the other kicks his shin.

 

Sicheng sighs as the two devolve into another squabble and goes to open the door. When he does, he finds a young boy standing there with his backpack.

 

When the boy sees him, he bows awkwardly.

"Sorry, I must have gotten the wrong apartment. Goodbye!" He runs off before Sicheng can ask. He scratches his head and closes the door. Inside, Yuta is attempting to suffocate Taeil with the couch cushion.

 

"Uh," Sicheng says. Yuta looks up guiltily and gets off Taeil. Taeil doesn't move. Yuta pokes him. He stays still. Yuta gulps.

 

"Did I finally kill him?" He whispers in horror, eyes wide. He looks at Sicheng, who sighs and goes back to his laptop. Yuta slowly moves away from the couch.

 

"You're a liability, but I can't kill you. I'm going to...uh..Antartica! Don't look for me in my apartment, I won't be there!" He squeaks and rushes off, slamming the door shut behind him.

A few moments pass.

 

"Is he gone?" Taeil whispers from under the cushion. Sicheng sighs.

* * *

 

Yuta's all packed and thinking up an escape route when someone knocks on his door.

"Shit, it's the police!" He hisses. He looks for a place to hide before realizing he hardly has any furniture.

 

"Oh Crap. Ohh crap." He swivels around, looking in his wardrobe for a disguise. He emerges with a mustache just as another knock comes, louder.

He opens the door in his mustache, sunglasses, and a fake accent.

"Konnichiwa?"

There's a boy on the other side, wearing a backpack. Yuta doesn't recognize him, but he doesn't seem to be part of the FBI, so he takes off his disguise.

"Are you a boy scout?" He asks in Korean, relieved. The boy huffs and crosses his arms, looking at him weirdly.

"No, I'm looking for my hyung. Did I get the building wrong or something?" he mutters as he checks his phone. Yuta dithers at the doorway, not knowing what to do. He leans down a little.

"Maybe I can help?"

The boy looks up at him. He glares. "Are you saying I can't do it myself?"

"No, you just seem a bit lost, little boy," he says in a placating tone.

"Little boy? LITTLE BOY? Are you mocking me?"

Yuta backs away a little, waving his arms frantically.

"I didn't mean to insult you! I'm just offering to help," He says, trying to calm the angry boy.

"Fine," the boy huffs. He doesn't look convinced. "Do you know where Moon Taeil lives?"

Yuta squints, looking at him closer. Tan skin, brown hair, permanent glower on his face. They look nothing alike. "Taeil is your hyung?"

 

The boy glares threateningly, and Yuta rushes to ammend, "I mean, y-yeah. I can take you to him, if you'd like?"

The boy sniffs. "Lead the way."

Yuta takes three steps to the apartment next door, before he realizes that he actually just killed Taeil.

"Oh my God," he whispers as he stands in front of the door, "I'm the next Jung Donyu!"

"Hey, what's the hold up? Is this the door?" The boy complains from behind. When Yuta doesn't move, he shoves him aside and firmly knocks the door.

Taeil opens the door a moment later. He spots Yuta first and groans.

"Why are you back again-"

"Hold on, you're alive?! -"

"Hyung!"

Taeil looks down and spots the boy. His anger fades in a moment, "Donghyuck?"

"Hyung!" The boy repeats, running towards the older man and wrapping his arms around his middle. Taeil ruffles his hair with a smile.

Sicheng appears behind Taeil, looking at Yuta in question. Yuta just shrugs in confusion.

"Hyuck, where have you been? Why are you here?" Taeil asks the boy. The boy says something that gets muffled with the older's shirt.

"Ofcourse you can stay with me. Come on in," he leads the boy inside, nodding at Yuta in thanks. Sicheng stares after them fondly.

"He's good with kids," he says, and Yuta nods. He bids him goodbye and goes back to his apartment, Sicheng waving him off absent-mindedly.

 

Yuta closes his door with a huff. How dare he! How dare that Moon Taeil steal Sicheng's attention! He wants Sicheng to smile at him like that. Stupid Taeil and his bratty brother..!

Wait. Sicheng...likes kids?

If having a brother is what it takes to get him to like Yuta...

Yuta smirks and goes to fetch his phone. He has a few calls to make.

* * *

 

Donghyuck and Taeil aren't actually related. Ten was the one who found Donghyuck, surprisingly enough. The poor boy got kicked out of home at a young age, and Ten decided to take care of him.

 

Somewhere along the way, Taeil started seeing the little boy as a brother. It's been a while since he's seen Donhyuck. He'd turned 18 a couple months back and enrolled into university. Last Taeil heard he was rooming with two other boys in a shared apartment.

 

"So, why did you migrate?" Taeil asks. He's in the kitchen with Donghyuck, making lunch.

"Chenle has a boyfriend now. I've walked in on them too many times, so I decided to give them space for the weekend." Donghyuck makes a face.

Taeil chuckles. "What about you? Any relationships in the horizon?"

Donghyuck makes a retching noise. "No thanks. Besides, you have no right to ask me that."

Taeil rolls his eyes and orders him to set the table. "Sicheng! Lunch!"

Sicheng walks into the kitchen. Donghyuck watches him curiously. "I didn't know Ten hyung moved out."

"He lives with Johnny now," Sicheng informs him primly.

Taeil brings the food to the table and sits down. Exactly at that moment, someone knocks.

"Hyung, pass me the salad please."

"Here you go."

The knocking continues.

"Cheng, I forgot the cheese, do you mind?"

"No problem."

And continues.

"Ah, hyung, do you want juice or water?"

"Juice is fine, thanks."

And continue-

"Are you guys not going to open the door?" Donghyuck asks in annoyance.

Taeil shrugs. "It's just Yuta."

Sicheng takes a bite of food and hums, "I think he's doing Wanna One's 'Energetic' today."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes and gets up to open the door. It's the weird guy from earlier.

"What do you want?" He glares.

The guy ignores him and walks into the apartment. Behind him, a younger boy trails in. He looks at Donghyuck curiously.

Donhyuck closes the door and follows them to the living room.

"Guys," Yuta says, "Meet my younger brother, Mark."

Taeil sips his juice. "You have a brother?"

"Yeah, I just bought-- I mean, I just brought him here. From Japan."

"Actually, I was manufactured in-"

Yuta places a hand on his mouth. Sicheng raises an eyebrow, mouthing 'manufactured?'

"H-He means he was raised in..in Korea. Yeah."

A beeping noise sounds out, and they all look around to see where it came from. Yuta clears his throat loudly in a failed effort to mask it.

 

"Why don't you introduce yourself, Mark?"

Mark straightens up. Donghyuck watches curiously.

"My name is Mark Lee. I'm nineteen. I'm a new model of Neo Culture Techonology-"

Yuta slaps a palm over his mouth again. 

"Was I the only one who heard that? Tell me I wasn't the only one who heard that," Sicheng says desperately.

"Where. Um. Where are you from, Mark?" Donghyuck asks in an attempt to make small talk.

"Canada, actually," Mark answers with a smile. The three of them turn to look at Yuta, who sweats nervously.

"I thought you said he was raised in Korea." Taeil raises an eyebrow.

"He's not from Japan?" Sicheng asks.

"One of you guys is lying." Donghyuck looks between the two, eyes narrowed.

"He's not--I don't--" Yuta falters, then reaches into his pocket, pulling out something and throwing it on the ground.

 

Smoke erupts in the kitchen. They all cough as Taeil rushes to open the windows. Suddenly, there's a whirring noise, and all the smoke dissipates. They all stare at Mark who has a fan....in his chest cavity?

 

A panel slides over the fan, and Mark pulls his shirt back on. Donghyuck gapes. The three of them look between Mark and the apartment door that Yuta left open. 

"Sicheng," Taeil says weakly, "tell me there isn't a robot-boy in our house."

"There isn't a robot-boy in our house," Sicheng repeats mechanically.

Mark....beeps? Again. "That is a lie."

Taeil slumps down onto his chair with a groan, pulling his hair.

"DAMMNIT, NAKAMOTO!" 


	10. 10

  
_'It's a dark, gloomy day. The weather forecast said it would be sunny all week, and yet today seems to be an exception. It's an error, a miscalculation, a glitch in the system-'_

 

"Pssst. Hey."

 

_'A glitch in the system, just like him. The wind blows, the heavens sigh, the clouds weep. It rains. He-'_

 

"Hey. Hey."

 

_ 'He feels the darkness of the day resonate within his very soul. What point is there in living, if you don't feel alive in the first place? Oh, woe is him-' _

 

"Hey!"

 

_'Hey-'_

 

"What!" Sicheng angrily slams his coffee cup on the table, turning to glare at the intruder. Who dares to disturb him when he's in the Zone??

 

A young boy grins from the chair across from his. "Hey!"

 

Sicheng sighs, saving his work and closing the laptop. He'd come to the Cafe for some inspiration and silence. He hasn't been able to write alot recently, in fear of someone stumbling upon him.

 

"Yeah, yeah. You got my attention. What is it?" He grabs his cup and drinks the tepid coffee. The boy across from him is young, probably still in high school.

"Wanna join my cult?"

Sicheng's coffee decides to switch lanes and clog up his air pipes. Sicheng coughs and the boy rushes to slap him on the back.

"What?" He wheezes at last.

"Do you. Want to. Join my cult?"

Sicheng stares at the boy through the tears in his eyes, clearing his throat, "You're in a cult?"

"Yeah!" The boy chirps brightly. "We have coasters with our logo and everything!"

"Cup coasters?" Sicheng rasps out.

"Yup. We even have special edition T-shirts. Buy one get none free!"

Sicheng looks at the boy in front of him in concern. He looks around before grabbing the boy's arm, dragging him closer.

"Listen, kid. If someone's forcing you to do this, you can tell me. I can help," He says lowly.

Really, the nerve of some criminal organizations! Using little kids to do their dirty work and recruit members? Unbelievable.

 

"No one's forcing me to do anything, old man!" The kid rips his arm out of Sicheng's grip. Sicheng considers the possibility of listening devices, and lowers his voice. He cannot, in good conscience, let them take advantage of this boy!

 

"Whatever they told you, they were lying. They're trying to exploit you," Sicheng whispers urgently.

"No one's tryna exploit me, old man! It's my cult. I'm the leader." The boy points at himself proudly.

"You're the leader?" Sicheng asks in disbelief, eyeing the bright purple beanie on his head.

"Yep! The Big Boss. The one in charge. Huang Renjun at your service!" The boy bows theatrically. Sicheng frowns.

"How many people are in this...cult of yours?" He asks, making quotation marks at the word.

"Three!" He says cheerfully.

"Three people aren't enough to make a cult," Sicheng shoots back, deadpan.

Renjun pouts. "That's why I'm tryna gather members! So, d'you wanna join, old man?"

"Listen, kid. I'm a busy man. You can go find kids your age to play with." He starts gathering up his things. It's not like he'll be able to write anyway.

"Aren't you listening, old man? It's not a game. It's serious business!" Renjun huffs.

"I'm sure it is," Sicheng says soothingly.

"Besides," the younger mutters, "no one else wants'ta join. They make fun of me cause I'm Chinese."

Sicheng glances at the boy in his peripheral vision. He's kicking at the ground, frowning. It makes something in Sicheng's heart ache.

"Fine."

Renjun whips his head up, "What?"

"I said I'll join, pipsqeuak. Consider me an honorary member, or whatever. I won't babysit any of you, though!" He says warningly, pointing his finger at the younger.

The boy absolutely beams. "Yes, sir! Old man, sir!"

Sicheng chuckles. "Just call me Sicheng, kid."

* * *

 

Taeil stirs the soup on the stove, before lowering the heat to let it simmer. His phone vibrates on the dining table, alerting him to a new message. He picks up the phone and unlocks it, finding a text from Ten.

**Tennie the pooh🍯**

**(2:30pm)**  
**I made a sextape with**  
**Johnny's secertary**

Taeil reads the message twice, then twice more for good measure.

    **FullMoon🌝**  
  
**(2:35pm)**  
**What.**

**(2:40pm)**

**I don't want to hear about**  
**your sextape.**  
**Especially NOT with Johnny's**  
**SECERTARY**  
**Tennie for shame**

**(2:45pm)**  
**Wha?**  
**OH SHIT**  
**I MEANT MIX*TAPE**  
**Omg I'm gonee**

**(2:47pm)**  
**I showed our convo**  
**to Johnny**  


**(2:50pm)**  
**And?**

**(2:55pm)**  
**He's laughing**  
**I made a mixtape with Taeyong**  
**But dw the sextape with Johnny**  
**is in the works ;)**

**(3:01pm)**  
**Im blocking you.**

 

Taeil shakes his head with a snort. He hears the sound of the front door unlocking and heads to the living room.

"Oh, Sicheng, you're back." He smiles and the younger returns it, setting his laptop bag down. Taeil goes back into the kitchen to check on the soup.

"How was your afternoon?"

"Fine. Productive. Joined a cult. How was yours?"

"Oh, just the usual," Taeil replies as he stirs the soup. It takes a few seconds for Sicheng's words to click. "You did WHAT?"

 

Sicheng laughs and disappears into the bathroom. Yuta pokes his head out of the hallway-when'd he get here?

He smirks suddenly. "Nice apron, Moon."

 

Taeil stares down at the monstrosity he's wearing. He hadn't realized he grabbed Ten's 'special' gift: a frilly, pink mess with the words Kiss The Cook and a pair of lips on it. He hides his face in his hands with shame.

 

"By the way, Taeil, did Donghyuck leave? " Sicheng reappears, drying his hair with a towel. He weathers Yuta's hugs with a long-suffering expression.

 

Taeil hums. "He's gone back to the apartment he shares with his friends." Sicheng nods. He then turns to Yuta, who seems to be making himself comfortable at their dining table.

"What about Mark?" He asks. Yuta gulps when they both turn to glare at him. "He's fine. He's, uh. He's asleep."

 

"You're staying for lunch, then?" Taeil asks as he lifts the pot with his mittens. He brings it over to the table as Sicheng brings out the bowls and utensils.

Yuta just shrugs. They all sit down and dig in.

* * *

"Ah-ha!" A triumphant yell distracts Taeil from his work. He's seated on the couch, his laptop opened in front of him and a cup of tea at his elbow. Sicheng, mirroring his position on the opposite sofa, looks up. 

 

Considering they're both seated here, and that they both haven't moved away in the past few hours, that could only mean one thing: Yuta. 

Sicheng rolls his shoulder and groans, "I thought you kicked him out." 

 

Taeil, for the life of him, cannot remember whether or not he did. He briefly entertains the thought of Yuta having a key to his apartment, but then quickly dismisses it. The guy's not _that_ crazy, surely. 

 

They both glance up as Yuta saunters into their living room, hands concealed behind his back. There's a scarily gleeful look on his face, and Taeil dreads whatever it is instantly. 

 

"Gentlemen," he starts smugly, "I have found the most crucial piece of evidence." 

 

He brings his arms from behind his back in slow motion, and Taeil watches warily as a familiar shape is brought to light. Oh no. 

 

"Nakamoto, wait, don't -" 

 

He thrusts the hideously familiar package into their faces in all of its glory. Taeil can only watch in helpless resignation as he reaches in and grabs it. 

 

"I present to you," he pauses dramatically, "the murder weapon!" 

 

Yuta brandishes the gigantic, pink dildo. Sicheng shrieks and dives behind the couch, Taeil groans in dismay and mild disgust, and Yuta finally seems to realize what he's holding a second too late. 

 

"Oh shit!" He yelps and flings it away, tragically enough in the direction of the open window. They all watch as it sails through the air, out the window, and into the great beyond. 

 

They hold their breaths in anticipation, straining their hearing to listen to the sound of it hitting the ground. Since the world seems to hate Moon Taeil, though, the sound is accompanied by a scream of terror. 

 

He scrambles to get up from the couch, firmly shutting the window and drawing the curtains over it.

 

"It's raining genitalia!" is very clearly heard from the street below, followed by frantic yells of "Man down! _Man down!_ "

 

The wailing of an ambulance grows louder in the distance. Taeil turns around very slowly, meeting eyes with both Sicheng and Yuta. "No one tell Ten."


	11. 11

* * *

Three cloaked figures sit around a blazing fire, the flames making their faces appear shadowed and sinister. There's a low murmur of voices echoing throughout the room, growing louder and louder.

Rhythmic banging of a drum accompanies the voices as they chant in a non-distinctive language.

 

One figure reaches into their cloak, drawing out a paper of some sort. They throw the paper into the fire, and they all watch as the flames roar to life. Then, silence.

 

The illusion is shattered when someone burps suddenly, and the other two groan.

 

"Yangyang!"

 

"Damnnit, Yang!"

 

"Sorry!" One of the figures apologizes, arms flailing.

 

"Is it....always this intense?" Sicheng asks from the corner of his mouth, eyes fixed on the squabbling trio. Next to him, Renjun sighs happily, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

 

Sicheng nods numbly as he watches Renjun walk up to the other three, standing in their midst. He looks at all of them in turn, gaze serious. Then, he speaks. 

 

"Xiao Jun."

 

"Yes, boss?"

 

"Good job." He smiles slightly and pats the other on the back, to which he beams. He turns to the next member, face serious once again.

 

"Hendery."

 

"Yes, boss?"

 

"Good job." He smiles again, and the boy inclines his head with a small smile. Renjun turns to the last member.

 

"Yangyang."

 

"Yeah, bossman?!" The third boy bounces on his feet eagerly.

 

"You're fired."

 

The boy slumps, and the two other members pat him on the shoulder. Sicheng winces, which draws their attention to him.

 

"Men, we have a new recruit." Renjun gestures at Sicheng grandly. It feels significant, in a way. The other two look at him curiously.

 

One of them-- he thinks it's Hendery-- steps forward. Sicheng gulps. This is probably the initiation test Renjun was telling him about. For some reason, he feels compelled to do his best.

 

Sicheng prepares himself as the other opens his mouth to ask the question. This is it, the moment of truth. Will he ask him to make a sacrifice? A blood pact? Steal someone's organs?

 

"What is your opinion on Johnny Suh?"

 

Sicheng, bewildered, can only flounder in response. Behind Hendery, the others watch on solemnly. Sicheng straightens up and crosses his arm over his chest.

 

"I would die for him." He says, with all the seriousness of a full-time Johnny stan.

 

All of them relax at that, removing their cloaks to offer him smiles. Renjun steps forward and claps his shoulder. "Welcome to the club, fellow intellectual."

 

Sicheng allows his shoulders to slump in relief, smiling back at them. He's found his people.

 

"Yangyang!" Renjun snaps his fingers, "get him a cloak."

 

Yangyang looks at his feet with a pout, "You kicked me out though."

 

Renjun sighs and turns around. "Yangyang." 

 

Yangyang lifts his head with a bright smile, "Yeah, bossman?" 

 

"You're hired." 

 

Yangyang fist pumps and goes to fetch the cloak. Watching him scuttle away, Sicheng realizes he has no idea where he is. He pokes Renjun's shoulder. 

"Uhm. What is this place, exactly?" 

* * *

 

"Uh, Taeil," Yuta says from the doorway, phone clutched in his hands and eyebrows furrowed. Taeil has long since stopped trying to figure out how he gets in. 

"What is it?" He lowers the volume of the TV, glancing up from the drama he was watching. 

"Do you know where Sicheng is?" 

"I recall him saying he had a meeting with his.." he weighs the words carefully, "... _Friends_. Why?" 

Yuta moves closer, sitting next to him on the couch. He looks up from his phone, lips pursed.

"I was texting him, and he wasn't responding, so I tried checking his location. And, uh," he says, flipping his phone to show Taeil the screen.

 

".... Why is he at a strip club?"

 

Yuta shrugs, looking confused.

"Are you sure this is accurate?" Taeil asks in concern. He doesn't think Sicheng is the kind to go somewhere like that in broad daylight. Not on his own, anyway. 

 

"I'm certain. I attached a tracker to his underwear," Yuta answers. He's looking at his phone, so he misses the disturbed look Taeil sends him.

 

He looks up and they eye each other uncertainly. Taeil asks, "what could he possibly be doing there?"

 

* * *

 

 

"BRING ON THE COW!" Renjun yells. 

 

"THE COW!" The crowd chants back. Sicheng watches in disturbed fascination as Yangyang leads a cow onto stage. 

 

"MILK THE COW!" Hendery screams, throwing a pail at Yangyang. 

 

"THE COW!" The crowd chants back again. 

 

Yangyang does some weird dance around the cow. On the floor, under its hooves, is a blown-up picture of Johnny's face. He then sits on a stool and proceeds to milk the cow. 

 

"SMOOTHIES!" It's Xiao Jun who yells this time, raising a banana in the air. 

 

"SMOOTHIES!" Is the crowd's enthusiastic response. 

 

Sicheng looks around. The undercover "Johnny-lovers anonymous" cult headquarters is located in a building that masquerades as a strip club, from what Renjun told him. Apparently Renjun is only the leader of the Chinese unit, and the operation runs much deeper than that. 

 

One of the cloaked individuals passes him a smoothie--The sacred, crowd favorite _John's Banana_ \-- and they all drink. It's in celebration of him becoming a member, and Sicheng feels a little flattered. 

 

When Renjun first mentioned the cow, he almost had a heart attack, thinking it was a living sacrifice of sorts. Renjun was quick to assauge his fears, however, assuring him that they only ever used natural resources and even had a greenhouse somewhere. 

 

All in all, it's not bad, Sicheng muses. 

 

Renjun stands on the stage, raising his cup with a holler. "ALL HAIL!" 

 

"JOHNNY SUH! 

 

" ALL HAIL!"

 

"JOHNNY SUH!" 

 

Sicheng screams with them and sips his milkshake with a smile. Nope, not bad at all. 

 


End file.
